Aging out

Imagine life as a normal curve. If you live to 100 (ambitious I know), after 50 you’ve made it over the top and you’re sliding down the other side.

I’m 60 — I’m still working on volunteering that — and, some days at least, going down the other side of that curve feels different. Like you’re riding on a tire with the teeniest of leaks, slowly, imperceptibly, getting a little slower, a little wobblier.

You fight it, slow the roll: oatmeal for breakfast, take the stairs — all that. You certainly don’t dwell on it, but once in a while, it smacks you in the face.

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Here’s an out-and-back that’s steeper than a normal, normal curve:

If you’re driving up to Tahoe on I-80, look over to your left and you can’t miss Castle Peak rising as you crest Donner Summit. It’s across the highway from Boreal Mountain — a jagged volcanic ridge capped by three castle-like spires, marking the northern edge of the Sierra crest.

It’s a hard hike and a scramble up the last four hundred feet. My torn ACL knee won’t do that anymore (especially coming down). So, while Chaos Monkey and friend went for it, I split off and went up the adjacent and smaller Andesite Peak with half the climb and a teeny scramble to reach the tippy top.

That’s Castle Peak behind me:

I headed back down to where the PCT intersects the trail to wait for the boys. A guy and his shovel came through, stopping to wait for the rest of his trail maintenance crew, and we got to talking. He’d done the full PCT from Mexico to Canada twice and now was working on number three. The first time took him 27 years, the second time 5 years. I figure we were about the same age, and while I explained my knee was why I was sitting here, he tried to talk me into PCT life.

In the tribe of PCT through hikers, he said he knew a few that had ‘Aged Out.’ And that’s the first time I heard that term.

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Look at this guy:

He looks like Mark Cuban to me, let’s call him Mark. But unlike Cuban¹, I feel for this Mark.

Why Tech Bros Are Getting Face-Lifts Now

A few years before I left Microsoft, I was at an offsite and we split into groups independent of discipline. I loved that my new team had a ton of young energy — devs and PMs half my age — but in that small group I felt the generational divide. When had I changed from being the youngest guy in the group to the old guy?

Clearly I hadn’t been paying attention. I was the cool old guy, but still.

When I built out my team, I inherited an older guy who had expected my job. Let’s call him Bob. Bob told stories of golf and Bill Gates; Bob was pretty aggro. His prior boss (my new boss) gave him a crap review, leaving me to deal with the fallout. Bob played victim, blaming the bad review on ageism, not performance. Bob left my team and I brought on some new hires, replacing his negativity with curiosity and enthusiasm.

Facelift Mark, reminds me of Bob. While I still feel kind of icky about Bob — I bet he’s still holding on at Microsoft — Mark takes it to the next level.

Facelift Mark, I hope you’re doing ok out there.

And here’s Emma Stone — she’s 37 and beautiful and we don’t have to make up a name for her. I don’t even know what’s going on here, but I feel like this is the same, yet also a very different conversation.

I Feel Sad about Emma Stone’s New Face

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Screw aging gracefully, I’d settle for looking like the old Emma. Meanwhile, Steven Tyler screams in my head:

The past is gone

Oh it went by like dusk to dawn

Isn’t that the way?

1. Mark Cuban is 67 and he’s doing just fine. After he sold his second startup for $6 Billion at 40, he cashed out, buying the Dallas Mavericks, preaching on Shark Tank, and generally doing whatever he wants. That’s a pretty good run and afaik one that didn’t require any plastic surgery.